i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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