Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
