I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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