ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
