You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
