I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
