the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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