Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
