I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I deserve this hangover.
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