in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
