I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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