Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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