why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
