So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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