I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
