He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
