I bet he comes in French.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
