I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
