why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
