Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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