Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
