So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
