Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
