Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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