I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
