have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
