guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
