last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
