CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
