My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
