those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
