Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
