Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
