hotel room ftw
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
