i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
