Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
