and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
