I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
