you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
