SEEEEXXX PLEASE
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
