i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
