I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
