Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
