Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
