I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
me + whiskey = a bad person
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
