She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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