Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I FOUND THE LEGS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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