he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
