im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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