it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
