and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sarcasm needs its own font
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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