sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
